After a day of crossing out commas, scratching out ‘I think’ and ‘in the author’s opinion’, and italicizing book titles, the other tutors in the writing lab had gone and the small conference room sat quiet and calm. Returning to my dorm meant braving the battle between Bon Jovi and the Black-eyed Peas, so I stayed behind, curled in the corner of the couch. I read for my favorite class, Professor Tejo’s section on World Mythologies. Besides, after editing a sorority girl’s paper on the external benefits of toothpaste, I needed some alone time.
When the door creaked open, I didn’t look up from the book. “We closed at six.”
“Hey man, are you a tutor?”
I looked up, aggressively annoyed. My glasses sat low on my nose and I peered at him over the rim. My resolve weakened immediately. Despite the chill of a New Jersey November, he wore athletic shorts and a t-shirt. One of those boys who showed off his body all year long, as if the hot gaze of the world warmed him. He had a skateboard in one hand and a paper in the other and his eyes, dark brown in contrast to his sandy dreadlocks, pleaded with me to salvage his assignment.
Apparently, I had yet to master the evil librarian look. The tanned face broke into a smile. “Yeah, it’s kinda obvious that you’re a word nerd.”
Any legitimate argument – and I didn’t have one – fell away when he dropped onto the couch next to me and thrust his paper into my view. “Please, it’s due tomorrow and this prof is really tough on…”
He struggled to remember the specific phrase. “consistent application of grammatical technique.”
That was Tejo. No doubt. So the topic would be interesting.
I glanced at the title of the paper – Homosexuality in Greek Mythology – and my body exploded. Every muscle tensed. The spicy tang of his sweat teased my nose. I looked at his face again and suddenly the big brown eyes and the stubble on his jaw brimmed with potential sexual energy. Not that any of that heat could exist for me, a word-nerd.
Still, I gestured to the paper. “This is for Tejo?”
“Yeah, you’ve had him?” His eyes darted down to the book in my lap.
“I have this class. You must be in the section after mine,” I settled my glasses firmly on my nose. I could abuse this coincidence to get him to leave. I read the title again and then looked at the man. He hunched on the couch, muscles and nerves, his full lip ground in his teeth with desperation.
My weakened resolve finally crumbled, “You know, a paper about gay myths really needs a snappier title. It’s an insult to the orientation.”
The jock visibly relaxed when I took the slivers of paper as if he’d shrugged the weight of the sky from his massive shoulders and into my spindly fingers. Newly casual, he slung an arm onto the couch’s back and he leaned close. “Any suggestions?”
I glanced back at him about to suggest we move to a table. My eyes tripped along the path of muscle leading from his elbow to his face and my tongue stumbled. “I might have a few, once I get to the end of the paper.”
According to his essay, his name was Joshua. The writing wasn’t excruciating. True, he couldn’t tell his commas from his colon, he scattered ideas through paragraphs like bread crumbs, and if a word had a homonym he instinctively knew it and wrote the wrong form, but he had intelligent arguments. He knew the myths. I thought Professor Tejo would appreciate it if the title read: “Patroclus: Achilles’ Cousin, Only his Cousin, Absolutely, Without Doubt, No More than his Cousin… Maybe.” In the end, Josh shortened it to “Achilles’ Cousin and Lover…maybe.”
When we finished, it was an hour past closing time. His smile served as adequate wage. “It’s really cool of you to stay after like this.”
I wondered about that sly glance his choice in subject. I took a risk. “Yeah, well. I have a vested interest in the topic.”
Josh seemed surprised. “So you’re gay?”
I panicked at his surprise. “Well, pretty much. I mean, it’s not like… I guess it’s just an assignment for you, but uh…”
“No actually.” He interrupted my mild hysteria with intense calmness. “I have… a vested interest too.”
“Oh, good. I hoped…” I realized what I’d confessed. “Uh, anyway. The lab is closed and I’m supposed to lock up so…”
Josh chuckled amused by my shyness. “You wanna come over to my room? Hang out for a bit?”
“Sure.” I pushed my glasses higher on my nose as I nodded, too eager. I knew I wasn’t a fashionable geek, but Josh was the kind of jock who was too kind to judge.
He stood and casually slung his backpack over his shoulder. I tried to mimic his casualness, as I gathered my books. “Um…There’s only two things I insist on: condoms and lube.”
The backpack stumbled off his shoulder as he turned. “What?”
I clamped my teeth together. Why was I so socially inept? “Oh… you actually meant to hang out.”
“Well, I hoped.” Josh mimicked me, grinned wide as he noticed my chagrin. He stepped closer, settled his hands on the narrow waist of my jeans. “I wasn’t sure what you were thinking.”
At that moment, I was thinking about how easily his hands slid into my back pockets. I tried to separate his blatant sexuality from me, tried to find a category where his body fit next to mine, the place where his easy manner could exist alongside my stammering. His fingers squeezed inside my jeans, possessively grabbing my ass in a way I had only imagined. I gave up on categories and pressed against his chest and broad shoulders.
His lips brushed against mine and he used my words against me. “Wanna clarify your thoughts, word nerd?”
I glanced at the row of floor to ceiling windows that framed the writing center, perfectly aware of the mild pornography he acted out for anyone outside. “Listen, uh, unless you’re an exhibitionist-”
He kissed me.
The wet openness of the kiss scandalized me and I wasn’t certain I liked it, until his hands squeezed tighter on my ass. I know I liked that. I groaned. Teeth parted, tongues touched. I gulped the scent of his body and tasted mint in his mouth.
It was my fault we ended up on the couch. I moved back, tried to free my hands from the awkward wedge between our bodies, imagining how suavely I would run my hands over his dreadlocks. Instead, I tripped and fell. I landed on the couch.
He looked at me confused.
I lifted one foot onto the couch and mimicked a sexy pose that must have looked ridiculous on my scrawny body. “Totally meant that. In no way am I that clumsy.”
He laughed and followed me down onto the couch. His waist sank between my raised knee and the leg dangled off the edge of the cushions. He pushed me deeper into the stale popcorn scent and kissed me again. The weight of his body enfolded me like a wonderful blanket. My knee crawled up his back and his hand traveled up my shirt. My skin shivered when exposed to the cool air in the lab.
Our kisses pushed my glasses above my eyes and when I tossed my head back to settle them again I couldn’t see through them; his hot breath had clouded the lenses. I pushed him away as gently as I could. “So… uh… how far away was your dorm again?”
Josh lived in one of the new apartments, considerably different than a dorm. For one thing, he had a roommate.
“Don’t worry, man. Rich has a class at seven and he always eats dinner on campus. He won’t come back.”
The new apartments were foreign terrain for me and I wasn’t certain how roommates worked these things out, but there was no world where a man like Josh didn’t have a plan. So I just nodded and followed him into the bedroom.
The small bedroom, stuffed with clothes and two bunk beds, struck me as intoxicatingly and irrefutably male. An ocean away from the prissy tidiness of my single room. A desk and dresser replaced the lower bunks under each bed. Josh and his roommate had both thumb-tacked cheap sheets to the ceiling around their beds. The hanging sheets faintly reminded me of an Egyptian shrine. It seemed out of place next to gym socks.
While I stared at the unmade bed, Josh put his hands on my shoulders and kissed my neck. I tensed from surprise, jolted as if his mouth had never touched my skin. My response amused him and his hands sank and crossed over my chest. Sexy cage. His lips plucked the muscles in my neck, until I had none left, and my head sagged back to his shoulder.
He reached his fingers under my shirt, ran his hands from my waist to my chest. Josh slipped away in my mind and left me alone with a strange sculptor of skin. His deconstructing fingers moved through the grooves in my muscles, forged a new shape from my bones, discovered beauty in my flesh.
My shirt hissed over my head and Josh returned to turn me around to face him. I laced my arms around his shoulders and lifted my mouth to his. He bit the side of my mouth playfully and his fingers itched down my bare spine and sank into my boxers. His fingers traced a line to the front of my body and his thumbs clamped on the button of my jeans. He rotated his pelvis against mine until I swayed and lost my balance, held this pillar of a man for support.
His voice fell smooth and sensual on the ears “You know, you’re really sexy, word nerd.”
I smirked, flattered by his lies. I couldn’t remember how to speak, just filled my fingers with his shoulders and bunched his t-shirt in between my hands. I drifted outside of myself, centered only on the part of my bicep where his lips touched, until my jeans fell to the floor.
Nervous, I stood before him in only my shorts. When I dressed that morning, I didn’t think anyone would see my choice in underwear that day and I wore boxers that I had received as a joke. Little bastardized versions of Japanese deities flew around the pink and white cotton stretched over my ass. The tent in my shorts made a Fox stretch towards Josh’s heavier body.
He smirked. “Is that anime?”
“Actually, a… sort of, it’s the Celestial Bureaucracy.”
“The Greeks had the Parthenon, the Norse had an Aesir. The Chinese had a Celestial Bureaucracy. It was first recorded in-” I noted the inappropriateness of a lecture and chuckled. “Imagine the path to heaven when you have to sign forms in triplicate…”
He looped his thumbs beneath the elastic band. “Or I could just remove the Celestial Bureaucracy.”
Normally, I would respond to a pun with a better one, but I choked on my nervousness. My shorts, the last bit of relevant clothing, slipped to my ankles. My jeans bound my legs, not that I had plans to leave. This dorky Ganymede would stand before his Zeus, a mortal paralyzed by fear, lust, and awe and happily so. The only thing curious about this business is what this god could possibly see in me.
Josh gripped my thighs hard. If not for the flimsy layer of my skin, his hands would sink between muscle and bone to the core of me.
When he released me, my legs flowed, unsupported as water.
He growled. “Climb up there.”
Careful not to trip on my jeans, I left them behind and then scaled the ladder next to the bed. I sat at the edge when he didn’t follow. My hands, inept and uncertain, rest in my lap as he peeled the shirt off his body. Half of my mouth twisted into a smile as the tight muscles of his chest glinted into my view. Melting…
Josh noticed and immodestly ran his fingers across his abdomen. My cock leapt in response and I turned my eyes to the floor with the well-honed survival instincts of a gay nerd in a gym. The naked presence of a man terrified me because it aroused me. Then his running shorts landed on top of my rejected jeans and I didn’t dare lift my eyes.
He chuckled. “What am I ugly or something?”
“No! You’re really hot. I just…” My eyes jolted up, snagged on his cock, and fought to get to his face. His smug grin reminded me this man had never known insecurity. There wasn’t enough blood in my body to fuel my cock and flame my cheeks. “Oh, I thought you were serious.”
He laughed at me and I might have been upset, but he laid his head in my lap. I couldn’t think of much besides that nose nuzzled against my stomach and the tongue tracing a maze over my cock. I moaned at the contact and squeezed his shoulders. I shivered when he pressed a row of light kisses against the burning flesh of my shaft.
I refused to speak or let any sound escape my throat when he opened his mouth. The light pressure of his kiss became hard pressure as his lips encircled my shaft. I didn’t want to breath a word that might make him stop, or accidentally utter a phrase that would embarrass him or give his second thoughts. As if the wrong sentence could make the mystical encounter disappear.
It was a kind of magic, to look down the skinny bones of my chest and see my cock disappear past his lips, to sense the lightest friction of his teeth and sink into the wetness of his mouth. His tongue swirled around my head and he inhaled through his nose as he took me deeper, swallowed me until his forehead pressed into my stomach.
He sucked and bobbed swayed over my shaft and I wanted to grip his hair and make his go faster, but I also wanted more from him besides this.
Then Josh pulled away. I gasped for more and gawked at him. I wanted to beg him to… to… the request was too vulgar. The words didn’t exist to express what I wanted from him.
He lifted his hands to my face and pinched my glasses away. A very careful blinding. I didn’t stop him when he set them down on the head board of his bunk bed. I only clutched the sheets of his bed in silence and waited for what he wanted next.
He swung his body onto the top bunk gracefully; wings attached to his heel would have made the gesture awkward. When he sat next to me, his legs dangled miles longer than mine. His mouth found my neck as he pushed me down to the pillow. My legs spread in worshipful obedience around his thick waist. His lips moved to my mouth, kissed like he breathed new life into my body. His hands clasped my thighs tight as armor against his waist. When he rolled his body towards the wall, mine followed. He ended up on his back and I, as a matter of course, landed on top of his thighs.
I was acutely aware of my body: knees straddled him, legs spread wide, mouth melted into his, head bowed, a back genuflected to the creator of my lust. His hands pet down my back, soothed my thighs. The slow caress contrasted erotically with the speed of his mouth which licked and sucked and nipped at mine. The obscenity of his lips made the immodesty of our naked cocks rubbing together almost forgettable.
My mouth slipped from his lips to his collarbone when he stretched his arms behind him. His chest expanded as he arched back to reach for something hidden on his headboard. I tilted my eyes up and squinted, but I couldn’t make out anything farther than his handsome face. Not until a blue bottle-shaped blur and the shine of black and gold plastic came closer to my face.
All the tension of my life dropped in to my lower body, when he snapped the lid of the lube. His touch eased that fear away and he squeezed the bottle behind my back and drizzled it just over his fingers. The drops fell onto my ass and the chill of the lubricant gave me a shock like his first minty kiss. He dipped his slickened fingers inside of me, invaded slowly, gently. I moaned into the sensation, cooed with a mixture of delight and insecurity. I mouthed his skin, sighed into the sweetly sweaty spot where the empty skin of his neck budded into the compact muscle of his shoulders.
His knuckles slipped into me with less effort than I thought it would take. The tips scrapped places inside of me that sparked a fire of lust. Like man’s creator had hidden this sacred space as a trigger for his own pleasure, a way to make fire raze through every vein in his weak creation’s body.
I clutched Josh’s ribs and abandoned all my strength. I simply lay on his pounding chest and panted into his biceps. He didn’t stop until I begged him, “please… more.”
He guided me up and I sat back on his thigh. The blur of his hands rolled the condom over his cock. I didn’t have much experience, but I could tell he was larger than anything in my dresser drawer. The head of his cock reminded me of an upside-down heart and I rocked over his heavy legs, in anticipation of that spear inside.
He drew me back down to kiss me, preferring my lips against his as he pushed into my body. I moaned into his throat, accustomed to the fast and hard penetration of his fingers and unsatisfied by the slow push of his thick member. I resisted the urge to throw myself back onto his cock, balled my fists up into his hair and transferred that pent-up passion into the kiss. I whimpered when he moved his hands to my thighs to hold me still.
Josh laughed. Teasing. While the rest of the world reduced to a blurry haze, his grin sparkled. Mischievous as Loki, his mouth wide and his hair wild. I pushed against his hands and forced the throbbing core of his sexuality deeper into my body. I kissed his temples.
A wave of pain and pleasure zipped up my spine and gasped out of my mouth when he thrust sharply inside. He lifted his hands to my lower back and pressed me farther down until his entire cock impaled me.
Then he pulled out and slammed back in. Finally fucking me. I groaned
His cock swayed against my inner walls, ticked against me, purposefully pulsed until I misplaced my mind. I babbled incoherently and twisted my face down to his shoulder, pushed my nose into his soft skin until the pain in my face echoed the pain of his grip. I would have broken my glasses against his body if he had not removed them.
His fingers lightened and his palms rubbed against my thighs and lower back, urged me to rock back and forth with him. I moved slowly at first. Arched my pelvis and reveled in the stretch and roll of our bodies. I rose to my knees, pressed my face harder against his arm. He groaned as I dropped down and deepened his intrusion. I rocked faster, threatened to force him out of my body each time, but tightened my muscles and held him inside. His pelvis bucked against mine. Our tailbones merged, then as if inspired to blind panic by the intense pleasure of that union, they thrashed away from each other.
His hands suddenly clenched harder at my back and inside his cock shuddered. He held perfectly still, straining muscles in his hulking frame to restrain the spasm of his desire. He swore at himself, “Fuck.”
I laughed in his ear and he forced me to slow down. He reined me in when he gripped my abdomen. His mouth sucked away my laughter, then my breath as he rolled. My body tucked neatly beneath him.
This time my body fell into the position, melted like wax in the hands of the sun. I wrapped as much of myself around him, my legs twisted around his waist, my arms gripped at the raw power of his shoulders, my tongue slid around his ear.
He grunted heavily, heaved into me, melded my pelvis to his. When he thrust into me, my back moved with him. Our arms locked our chests together, and our skin slipped with the sweat pouring out between us. Our bodies, forged by the heat of his hands, moved as one.
His cock coiled deeper than before, until in my irrational thoughts, I imagined his tip scraping against my spine. My fingers gripped his flesh desperate to hold him, when he bent his back to separate our torsos and arch away. He pounded deeper, so close, so hard that the trembles which started in his spine ended up in mine.
Josh stroked his fingers over my bursting prick, handling it masterfully as if it were his own. I held the muscles of his ass so tightly my fingers went numb. He winced from the force of my grip when I came; an eruption of brilliant pleasure and intensity. There was nothing left of me then, just the vessel of his lust, the toy he played with, the body he fucked. I tried to rally my senses to touch him, to hold him, but I couldn’t find the strength.
His hands slipped away from my dripping cock and locked around my hips. He rose to his knees and fucked me harder and harder. He wanted to overflow the vessel, break the toy, obliterate the body with his cock.
Josh cried out when he came, a wonderful angelic sound of surprise and wonder. I watched his face transform from a clench of pain to perfect joy. The stiff muscles of his body slackened into perfect relaxation as he lowered his forehead and pressed it against mine.
His cock slipped away, the slow burn of the gesture left me with an aching emptiness. I wanted to resist his abandonment, then he sighed. The sound, as giant as his body, satisfied me. Josh dropped onto me, blanketed my steaming body with the embers of his own slow-burning flesh.
The moment smoldered into ashes and Josh rolled back to the wall and abandoned my body. He huffed out a steamy breath and I reached up on the headboard to find my glasses. Josh was smiling at me when he returned to my vision.
He chuckled and leaned over me. I held my breath thinking he meant to kiss me again. Instead, he took some tacks out of the ceiling to allow the sheets curtaining around his bed to billow down and hide us from any roommate that might decide to skip class. Then he nuzzled his face close to mine, not kissing just threatening.
“Boy, am I glad I went to have that paper tutored.”
“Yeah.” I panted. “You definitely deserve high marks for… application of technique.”